Looking for support, reassurance and information?
Join Beverley's The Educating Parents Homeschooling and Unschooling Facebook or Yahoo online groups.

FAQ: How Does Everyone Find Friends for their Children?

answers by Beverley Paine and friends

Jo is thinking of putting her 4 year old daughter into kindy because she's finding it hard to find friends for her.

This drive and need to find friends for our children dogs the lives of home educators. There are some ways we can do this but it's important to also question what is motivating our desires and needs for this in the first place?

My response to Jo's need was:

Be in places often where there are people. Forget about the need for friends, for one or two special friends or people her own age. Her needs are for social development, to understand and work out her place in the community of humanity. Yes, fun is important but fun can be had with anyone of any age - and it is something we parents can adequately provide for our children if we think more fun (especially imaginative and creative play or personally satisfying work and activities) is needed. At four they love it when we do that. Their need for social interaction with same aged peers at this age can be satisfied by encounters in the community - playgrounds, waiting rooms, bus queues, museums - wherever you are likely to find other families. Our job (and challenge) is act friendly, get talking to both mums, dads and children in these settings and start playing with them too. The more we do this the more natural it becomes to feel and even our 'shy' children will start trusting the process of natural socialisation.

Other suggestions from members of the Unschool Australia group included:

• Find a local home education support group or network and make a commitment to regularly attend any activities organised by the members of the group. Don't give up after the first couple of sessions as persistence pays off.
• Start a regular activity morning at your place or at a local playground and invite friends and other home educating families. If you are worried about insurance issues, join the Home Education Network Australia. Advertise your activity at the local post office and library and home education group newsletter.
• For younger children join an existing community playgroup.
• You might be able to connect with like-minded families through regularly using the local toy library.
• Tap into any community based activities, classes or lessons for children: dance, drama, scouts, sports, church, etc.
• Focus on the activities your children like to do as your guide: do more of those.
• Don't underestimate how comfortable children are in their own company: yes, they do ask to see more friends now and then but don't assume that means they are actually lonely.

Some concluding quotes from unschooling parents:

"My kids have a new 'best friend' every trip to the park or every house we visit." Aimee

"It is not pleasant sitting around feeling responsible for my child's happiness. This generates a fear that if I don't act and find a solution, something terrible will happen. It causes me to constantly 'seek' something I believe to be missing. It brings images to my mind of lonely children. This only seems to push what I want for my children further away. I was sure my children were suffering when they were not. It was me suffering, and it felt awful! What helped me was to first deal with my internal beliefs about my children having friends, and find out why this brought to the surface the feelings I was experiencing, and what it meant. I wasn't reacting to the perceived needs of my child, I was reacting to my beliefs about it. I found so much relief in finding that everything was OK just as it was, and that all I simply had to do was put us in the places we needed to be and see what happened from there. Turned out my kids weren't too keen on lots of friends and social interaction after all!" Leisa

Was this article helpful? Was it worth $1.00 to you? Your gift of $1 or more helps to keep this site operating offering encouragement and reassurance to families wanting better outcomes for their children.

Thank you for your gift contribution!

Option 1 $1.00 AUD Option 2 $5.00 AUD Option 3 $10.00 AUD Option 4 $20.00 AUD

Beverley Paine with her children, and their home educated children, relaxing at home.

Together with the support of my family, my aim is to help parents educate their children in stress-free, nurturing environments. In addition to building and maintaing this website, I continue to create and manage local and national home educating networks, help to organise conferences and camps, as well as write for, edit and produce newsletters, resource directories and magazines. I am an active supporter of national, state, regional and local home education groups.

"You've been an inspiration to me, I love the way
you really listen to people." Vanessa

"Whenever I read your writing I always come away
with increased confidence in my ability to provide and
share a wonderful learning journey with my family!" Davina

"Your guidance, understanding, support and words of
wisdom changed our lives. We now offer support and
organise many homeschooling events for others." Lesley

"Thank you once again for your prompt and friendly service.
I am convinced that your books are going to add
quality and peace of mind to my journey of teaching my kids
at home! Just from studying your website, until almost
2am in the morning, I 've been encouraged!" Louisa

"Thank you for all your many,many reassuring words
over many, many years. You probably don't know exactly how
valuable you are to the Australian Home Education community.
I've been reading your stuff for maybe 8 years or more now.
And I'm very grateful." Gythaa

Want to learn how to write your own education plans to suit
your unique children's individual learning needs?

Looking for quality curriculum and teaching tips ?

Over 1000 reassuring and informative articles to help
build your confidence as an Educating Parent

You are invited to join Home Education Australia!
One well-organised space to find and share information,
resources links and more to support all home educators
across Australia, including a directory of posts and threads , where you can source all your needs related to home education and find what others are seeking and finding within Australia.

Welcome to the World of Home Education
and Learning without School!

We began educating our children in 1985, when our eldest was five. In truth, we had helped them learn what they need to learn since they were born. I am a passionate advocate of allowing children to learn unhindered by unnecessary stress and competition, meeting developmental needs in ways that suit their individual learning styles and preferences. Ours was a homeschooling, unschooling and natural learning family! There are hundreds of articles on this site to help you build confidence as a home educating family. We hope that your home educating adventure is as satisfying as ours was! Beverley Paine

The information on this website is of a general nature only and is not intended as personal or professional advice. This site merges and incorporates 'Homeschool Australia' and 'Unschool Australia'.

The Educating Parent acknowledges the Traditional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Owners, the Custodians of Australia, and pay our respects to Elders past and present and extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people viewing this website.

Tap into Beverley's experience through her books "Your books, your blogs helped me beyond words... they helped me to find comfort in knowing it is ok to choose exactly what is best for my family." Nisha "Your books and information are mind blowing and already I am feeling good about this new experience." Diane Connect with Beverley and ask questions through her online The Educating Parents Homeschooling and Unschooling Facebook and Yahoo support groups.

"Your guidance, understanding, support & words of wisdom changed our lives." Leslie "I feel specially inspired by Beverley's words and, the more I read her comments, the more inspired I feel, since my need for support, respect for different parenting styles, and information are fully met." Marijo

Natural Learning and Unschooling Pack Each Pack contains a copy of the following: Natural Learning Natural Learning Answers A5 or A4 Learning Naturally Diary Learning Maths Naturally A Sample Approved Natural Learning Program and Review Only $29 or $33 Select A4 or A5 Diary A5 diary $29.00 AUD A4 diary $33.00 AUD

Home education is a legal alternative
to school education in Australia.
State and Territory governments are responsible
for regulating home education and have different
requirements, however home educating families
are able to develop curriculum and learning programs
to suit the individual needs of their children.

Without revenue from advertising
by educational suppliers and Google Ads
we could not continue to provide information
to home educators. Please support us by letting
our advertisers know that you found them on
The Educating Parent. Thanks!